I have occupied this cozy, warm space for years now. I'm afraid you'll think less of me if I tell you what happened recently. You'll say I'm imagining things or overreacting.
Something took up residence overhead. It drooled and shrieked without warning. It smelled. Bad. Its tiny hands were sticky and gross. Absolutely no manners.
Last night, it jumped off the bed. Its perfectly round little eyes pierced the darkness as it squatted and looked at me. Its evil smile was unbearable. Worst of all, it was shockingly adorable.
I've never been so horrified. What do I do? Send help.
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