Dawn Chorus

I guess it was inevitable - me and reality have definitely finally company. Can’t even blame a hangover. Haven’t touched a drop for weeks despite the plentiful supply. No point.

So how do you explain the fact that those damn birds are doing their usual dawn chorus gig, singing and squawking away, but instead of whistles and chirrups they’re performing operas - in English. I can understand every single word. Wish I couldn’t.

Burying my head under the pillow makes very little difference to the volume. Blimey, they’ve got a lot to get off their chests.

‘Back off buddy, this is my territory and I’ll fight to the death to protect it. Don’t believe me? Dare you to try.’

‘Think I’m scared of you? I’m the biggest and the best. I’m the one that’ll attract any females, not you.’

Can’t believe I can hear each separate challenge considering they’re all shrieking at the same time. Hang on, there’s a new voice.

‘Stop squabbling boys. Don’t fight over me - I’ve already made my choice. There aren’t enough of us left to risk another death. There are plenty of overgrown gardens now that there’s no one to tend them - you go and look elsewhere.’
Sore point. I try burrowing deeper under the quilt but those damned birds just won’t be silenced.

‘Me? Why should I give up the chance to mate?’’

‘You know I have to procreate with biggest and strongest. Right now that’s him. Go and find your own territory.’

‘At least you have a chance of finding a mate, unlike that poor bugger in the brick nest.’

‘That’s true. Doesn’t bear thinking about, does it. Can’t imagine how he must feel being the last of his species.’